It's not that you've done me wrong and it's not that you have anything that needs to be forgiven by me. It might be my own insecurities in all of this, but as a girl, I'm sure you can understand.
I feel threatened by you.
Maybe it's instinct. Maybe I'm going back to animalistic roots, because she surely doesn't belong to me; but I can't help but feel a grudging annoyance when you and April display your friendship the way you do. She's been my best friend for the last four-ish years, so finding out that you two have all these inside jokes and such is a little bit of a slap in the face to me.
I've been missing her fiercely and haven't been able to have her over to my place in the last few months because of family issues with an estranged distant member of my mother's side of the family. If she were able to come over all the time like she used to, I assure you that this would not be happening.
I love you both more than I can ever describe, you've done only good by me and despite that we're both two very different people, I still feel like you're a sister to me. But it's painful to know that April is at your house virtually every weekend when she used to basically live with my family.
It's hard to ignore it because I miss my relationship with her. I miss when our profile pictures used to match, when we texted at all hours, and when we had messages together. Lately, it's been none of this, and when I see my best friend having a similar relationship with another person that she once had with me, it hurts my feelings.
I think, because of this, is why I can be so hostile with you; which hurts me as well because I don't like being cold in your direction. It's not you and your relationship with her that's the problem; it's that mine has been forced to be on hold because I can't see her like you can - and that's what pisses me off.
I love you. Trust me, you will always be my sister.
And I'm confident that one day, things between she and I will go back to the way they belong.
Love,
Jess :]
No comments:
Post a Comment